


Sudden Realizations

by AifasInTheSky



Series: (See You) On The Other Side [3]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, it's pretty shippy tbh but read it however you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25368646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AifasInTheSky/pseuds/AifasInTheSky
Summary: Gordon feels as if someone has pulled a rug from beneath his feet. No, it's more like someone put a rug under his feet and a whole set of furniture around him without him realizing it.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey & Joshua Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Gordon Freeman & Joshua Freeman
Series: (See You) On The Other Side [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839427
Comments: 19
Kudos: 299





	Sudden Realizations

Gordon realizes it one day as he's washing the dishes.

It's maybe a stupid thing, but it's been years since he's had to use more than two sets of plates and silverware—and one of them is distinctively plastic, as it is Joshie's. Now, however, he finds himself washing three, daily, for each meal. The water keeps running as he stares at the dishes that rest already in the dryer.

“Uhh… Bro, everything okay?”

He jumps, but he doesn’t turn around. “I’m okay! Just thinking, man.”

“Joshua-man’s been yawning for a while. Pretty unepic. Does he need to brush his teeth or something?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, barely looking at Benrey over his shoulder. “I’m coming.”

He leaves the plate in the sink and goes to take a—indeed, pretty sleepy—Joshie to the bathroom, under Benrey’s inquisitive gaze.

“Come on, Joshie, just brush your teeth and we’re done for today.”

“I don’t wanna,” Joshie pouts.

“If you clean your teeth you’ll uhh… be able to unlock epic gamer privileges, bro,” Benrey tells him, crouching to his level.

“Uhh… What’s a… “privilige”?”

“The good stuff, bro. Like uhh… one more round of Tetris on Friday.”

“Really?” Joshie looks excitedly at Benrey, then at him, silently asking for confirmation—he loves watching the colored blocks fall and break apart.

“Sure, why not?” He shrugs. “Only if you make sure to brush your teeth every day.”

Joshie seems to ponder it. Then he nods. “Alright.”

“That’s the spirit, bro,” Benrey says, giving him a fistbump.

They both walk towards the bathroom, Gordon’s mind still hazy, considering. He feels as if someone has pulled a rug from beneath his feet. No, actually that’s not it. He feels like someone put a rug under his feet and a whole set of furniture around him without him realizing it.

He soon finds himself staring at the three toothbrushes next to the bathroom sink. Benrey still hasn’t quite figured out the teeth-brushing mechanics, but Gordon had insisted that he has to “keep it clean, for God’s sake.” Benrey’s brush is dark blue, like his old uniform, to no one’s surprise.

When did Benrey get so entangled in his life?

“Daddy…” Joshie whines.

He shakes his head. Jesus. “Are you done, champ?”

“Yeah!” Joshie says, and makes a show of biting like one of those fish… how were they called, again?

“What are you, a piranha?” He asks, smiling.

“I’m Uncle Benny!” He shouts, throwing his arms in the air.

Gordon’s stomach does something odd at the answer.

“Let’s go,” he says, scooping him up. Joshie giggles and hugs him, holding tight as they make their way to his room.

Benrey is—unsurprisingly—waiting for them there.

“Benny!”

“Whassup, little guy?”

“Dad is being weird.” Joshie pouts. “He’s all spacey.”

“That’s because uhh… There’s too much going on inside that big head. Big dumb.”

“Hey!” he complains half-heartedly. He agrees. Why can’t he seem to reboot?

Joshie glares at Benrey. “Don’t be mean to daddy!”

“Sorry, bro. He’ll be okay. I promise.” Benrey carefully tucks Joshie under the covers. “Wanna hear something cool?”

“Sweet Voice! Sweet Voice!” Joshie chants.

When did it all get to this point?

Benrey starts to sing, blue orbs coming out of his mouth. They surround Joshie, who, already tired, starts nodding off until soon he’s dead asleep. Gordon looks at them, at the whole scene in front of him, and his heart aches with something. Something that makes him warm, exhilarated. Afraid.

Gordon turns around and leaves the room.

Benrey soon follows him. He can feel his gaze boring into the back of his head from where he’s sat in the couch.

“What’s wrong, bro?”

“I told you, it’s nothing.”

“Bullshit. I call bullshit. You’re all uhhh not there and shit.”

“I need to think, okay? I’m just… thinking, alright?”

“About what, huh?”

“Nothing!” he shouts, standing up. He remembers Joshie with a pang of guilt. “Nothing, Benrey.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” Benrey quips. His eyes bore into his, intense, impossible to read.

“… Just drop it, dude. Please.”

Benrey, surprisingly, does. He shrugs, walking towards Gordon’s—their—room. “Whatever, man.”

Gordon stays there, mind reeling, heart beating fast. He blinks one, twice, thrice.

He decides he’ll sleep in the couch tonight.

\-----

“You’ve been ignoring me, Freeman.”

“I couldn’t ignore you even if I wanted, dude,” Gordon says, flipping a pancake.

“You are, though,” Benrey says. Gordon looks at him. He looks defensive, arms crossed. “You’re not here, bro. You just don’t… Get angry and shit. You never wanna play games anymore. And you haven’t been sleeping in your bed for uhh… more than a week.” He frowns. “What’s up?”

Gordon’s stomach twists. At this point, he’s capable of giving an explanation, if he puts his mind to it. He could say the truth, say that he suddenly realized that his life has become intrinsically intertwined with Benrey’s and that somehow, not only does he not mind, but he wants it to be like that. But he’s never been good with words, not when it really matters.

So he lies.

“I just need space. We’re together 24/7, Benrey. Can’t a guy want his space?”

That’s the opposite of what he wants, actually. Benrey looks hurt, nonetheless.

“Bro… I _am_ giving… Whatever.” Benrey turns around. “I’ll give you space. Smell ya later, Feetman.” And he leaves the kitchen.

Gordon waits until he hears the front door close to slam his fist against the kitchen counter. Damn it.

\-----

Benrey hasn’t been at home for more than two weeks.

Gordon would be worried, if it weren’t for the fact that a very nervous Tommy called, to let him know Benrey’s been crashing at his place and ask if everything was okay. Which is good, because, as things are right now, he’s living some of the most miserable days of his life. He’s been sleeping like shit. Even though Joshie is at his mom’s right now, he refuses to talk to him on the phone anyways until Benrey comes back. And the way he only gets silence in response to questions he unthinkingly makes to the ex-guard stabs his heart every time.

He stabs what’s left of his salad.

“Fuck this.” He laughs mirthlessly, biting into his forkful of lettuce. “I really am a big dumb, am I not?”

He walks into the kitchen, his gaze falling on the drier. Only Joshie’s plate is there.

He makes a decision right there and then. He leaves his plate on the sink and walks towards the door. He needs to swallow his pride and—

He opens the door only to find Benrey there, his arm raised as if to knock it.

“Uhh…” Benrey says, caught off guard. They both look at each other. “Space sucks.” A beat of silence. “Don’t tell Bubby I said that.”

Gordon hugs Benrey.

Benrey stiffens under his arms, but then relaxes into the embrace, resting his chin on Gordon’s shoulder.

“Sorry, bud. I’m sorry.”

“Uhh… It’s okay, G-Gordon.” Benrey sounds so close— _is_ so close—Gordon can’t help but laugh wetly. “Are you crying? Bro, are you crying? Cringe—No, wait, not cringe, bro. Uhh…”

“Damn you, Benrey.” Benrey stiffens. “Please stay.”

Benrey relaxes again, patting Gordon’s back. “I’m gonna. Of course. Can’t leave my uhh… gamer den.”

Gordon chokes. “Gamer den?”

“Sure. Gamer den. Here’s my PS3. My clothes. My Mountain Dew.” He hears Benrey swallow. “My family.”

Gordon barks out a laugh. “Of course.” He separates from Benrey and holds the door open for him, eyes glinting with warmth. “Welcome home, man.”

Benrey grins and steps inside. And as Gordon hears the sound of the PS3 turning on, everything feels right again.

**Author's Note:**

> (I lied. Also AO3 did nothing rip)
> 
> I think this might've been done before...? But I'm a sucker for sudden realizations of this kind and also for Joshua Freeman & Benrey interactions dskfkjs
> 
> I might continue writing fics for this verse and putting them on a series or something.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading! ♥


End file.
